My second client, Jennifer, has a very interesting job. She’s a process improvement consultant who travels for work, and her newest project will have her shadowing the administrators of day care facilities for weeks at a time. The problem? All of Jennifer’s clothes are either too corporate, or too casual.
Let’s find her something fun, shall we?
I started by assessing what she needs for the upcoming project. Since the environment will be similar to an elementary school, we considered that both movement and color would have to play a vital role in this wardrobe supplementation. For movement, flats, dresses, and pants; for color, olive greens, sapphire blues, wine reds, cream, navy, and a bit of black (as opposed to the uniform of black, red, and gray more typical of her work).
Just a little bit softer now.
Jennifer is a curvy womyn who is self conscious of her large bust and the body that is adapting to a more athletic lifestyle (like Erin and myself, Jennifer plays Roller Derby). She’s an Autumn, and her strong coloring makes warm, muted colors very exciting on her. Due to stress, we broke up the consultation into three appointments.
And had way too much fun.
I started the closet purge on Saturday night by distracting her with conversation while I got rid of chuff, occasionally asking for her opinion on a piece, saying things like, “please justify this,” or having her yell, “no!” and come rescue a dress from my unloving, alien hands.
The Unjustifiable.
When I began, her closet was packed. When I finished, hangers littered the floor, we had filled three bags, and there was ACTUAL SPACE in her closet. For all the clothes she needed, because I threw all her stuff away, according to Jennifer. We parted with plans to go shopping the following afternoon.
Hanger carnage.
Sunday afternoon, we met for lunch (and a football game) before shopping. We got into a silly mental space, and after the games (Broncos and Niners playing simultaneously. Both won!), we walked over to the mall and started with Macy’s.
We did pretty well.
I have a style of shopping I like to call “seek and destroy.” As I walk through a store, I grab everything that looks good in the right size. Everything. I go into a fitting room loaded down and watch the attendant’s face just… fall. Jennifer made it clear early on that she didn’t want anything that added bulk to her chest, and nothing too frumpy, so we had lots to argue about. But it was seeing me with my arms full of clothes that she was expected to try on that made her the most vocal about how little she wanted to do any of this. Readers, when faced with a person (whether or not they’re a great friend whom you love very much) who questions not only every garment, but also the merits of shopping, trying clothing on, or even the concept of pants, it is very easy to get frustrated, or feel as though your own merits are being called into question. My advice? Simply relax. Smile. Tell your friend (and/or client) in no uncertain terms that they ARE going to try on the majority of the clothes you pulled. And for the love of all that is fashionable, use bribery. In this case, the bribe was a gorgeous wrap dress Jennifer loved from the second she laid her eyes on it.
This isn’t it. But this looks good, too.
When we got into the fitting room (I was so disappointed. The attendant didn’t even flinch at the sheer quantity of clothing in my arms), there was more lighthearted arguing over how much she really needed to try anything on. I wouldn’t let her try on the dress. Suddenly, Jennifer was all business. She tore through that stack of clothes, and we made some serious progress defining her style, while steering wide of boxy cuts, stiff fabrics, and jeggings. She nearly found a decent pair of pants at Macy’s, but they fit a little weird in the crotch, so they ended up in the “NO” pile.
Only pants that fit, thank you very much.
In the “seek and destroy” school of shopping, after the blitz try-on, the next step is to ruthlessly pare down the pile. If you don’t LOVE IT, DO NOT BUY IT. By the end of this step, we had two dresses and a sweater. A killer sweater. Choices made, we left Macy’s in good spirits, only to discover that malls close earlier on Sundays. Oops! At least the football games had been worth watching.
We have spirit! Yes, we do!
With time for only one more store, and needing a handful of pretty, comfortable, washable blouses, I took Jennifer to Marshalls. She was pretty beat after a long hour at Macy’s, and although she was resigned to my shopping style, she was fairly overwhelmed. I sent her to look at shoes hoping that would allow her to relax while I went hog-wild in the knit tops.
You’re welcome, World.
We took 27 items into the fitting room, and emerged victorious with but five, including one pair of pants and one blazer (a triumph, as she did not expect to like any pants or blazers whatsoever).
It’s a GREAT blazer.
The following evening, we got together her her house for the wardrobe styling. We blasted fun music and danced around, and I made cool outfits (some for work, some for play). We talked the whole time (when we weren’t singing loudly), and Jennifer has come away from the experience feeling better about her clothing options for her upcoming trip.
Fun-time outfit.
Work time outfit.
Little bit of both.
Jennifer:
I never want you to feel matronly. If you feel in danger of frumpiness, that is the perfect time to break out your coolest jewelry, or trade a plain cardigan for something more modern or with a little more edge. Balance is your friend, but lean in the direction that makes you the most comfortable – being one cool m**********r.
Please don’t feel like you need to hide your girls! Repeat after me: “The jacket/sweater/shrug goes to the nipple, but no farther!” If you have to adjust throughout the day, well, yeah. Sometimes you just gotta do that. But when you cross your sweater/jacket/shrug over your chest, your body language reads as ‘defensive,’ just like if you had your arms crossed over your chest.
Play with your clothes. Each item does not only belong to one outfit. Mix and match. Get crazy. Make mistakes. It’s all part of the learning process.
Tell yourself every morning, “I look damn good.” Because you do. And you deserve to hear it from yourself.
As a final parting gift, dear Readers, here is the stunning Jennifer in her beloved dress. She earned it. Boy howdy, did she ever.
Love,
Talia
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