Style Personalities and Your Body Type, Part 4

SURPRISE!!

Got You!

Whew. That was fun! Today, we’re going to talk about Androgynous style!

The Androgyn- The Androgynous womyn (or person, rather) pulls style elements from both the masculine and feminine. This might mean a womyn who identifies as a womyn wearing men’s suits, suspenders, or A-shirts (usually white tanks commonly worn by men as undershirts).

This might mean a person who identifies as genderfluid, wearing whatever feels authentic to them today.

This might mean a man who identifies as a man wearing unisex or feminine clothing, hairstyles, or make-up.

 

This might mean a totally adorable boi dressing like a totally adorable boi.

This might mean David Bowie. Yum.

Androgyny can be achieved in a lot of ways, from casual to formal, from male to female, from extremely trendy to…well, me in a grandpa sweater. The defining characteristic of the Androgyn is that you don’t subscribe to gender norms. That’s it.

If you’ve never experimented with Androgyny, a great way to dip your toe in the water is through Menswear. Every few seasons, designers remember how INCREDIBLY HOT wemyn look in men’s clothing (and occasionally vice versa).

 

During those blessed seasons, you usually see wool three-piece suits, crisp trousers, neckties, or gorgeous hats.

 

Pick one or two and blend them into your wardrobe. Menswear-inspired shoes are very stylish, as well.

Aren’t they gorgeous?

You can find some great boots, heels, and oxfords modeled on classic wingtips. Pair with a dress and tights, or under a suit and rakish hat. You can’t go wrong.

About the Androgyn that has curves, DapperQ writes, “The current aesthetic seems awfully narrow and limiting compared to the textbook definition of androgyny. Androgyny does not belong to one gender or one body type: it is for all genders and every body!” Read more here, and learn some great style tips for Androgynous people with curves, but also advice for the rest of us: “If you love your curves, embrace them!” Hell, yeah.

That’s it for this series! I’ll be back with a great post about the worst nightmare of every one of my clients: THE FITTING ROOM *cue spooky laugh*

I’ll play myself out with awesome pics of Ruby Rose.

Love, Talia

 

Slut Shaming

Forget not that modesty is for a shield against the eye of the unclean. And when the unclean shall be no more, what were modesty but a fetter and a fouling of the mind? And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.
-Kahlil Gibran, 1923

In an article from December 13, 2014, Jack Healy writes that the Montana legislature has passed a new dress code. Traditionally, Montana’s governing bodies are open to casual wear: “Governors wear cowboy boots and bolo ties, and people joke that a tuxedo is a pair of black jeans and a sport coat.” But suddenly, Republicans passed “guidelines” in order to bring about a sense of formality they see as lacking. Out of seven “guidelines,” six are specifically applicable to wemyn, whereas only five are applicable to men, but one of the wemyn’s “guidelines” should probably count as three separate rules, since it is so much longer and in depth than the comparable men’s rule.

Miley Cyrus was recently spotted in a small-town watering hole, behaving much a young womyn in her early twenties might at a bar. She was slammed on social media for being, and I’m paraphrasing here, “a drunk ho.”

What do these two stories have in common?

They are about SLUT SHAMING.

What is it?
Slut shaming is going above and beyond to police wemyn’s clothing. You might see slut shaming in school dress codes, as a part of street harassment, or just a nasty comment from one womyn about another. It can be characterized by being overly negative and judging a person based entirely on their behavior, or how they have chosen to adorn their body. Slut shaming leads to a culture of misogyny and acceptance of rape and sexual harassment.

Slut shaming is dangerous and pernicious because it doesn’t follow any specific rules about who gets shamed and what clothes or attitudes cause it. Actually, there is usually one common factor: the victims are wemyn. But they could be any age, any race, any income bracket, and wearing anything from a bikini to a parka. And it doesn’t have to do with sex.

The point of slut shaming someone is to correct “indecent” behavior. But adults do not need to have their behavior corrected, and most teens don’t either, except by their parents. What falls under the heading “indecent” is subject to change with the shamer’s whims, and is always a put down. Humiliation is not a good teaching tool, but slut shaming isn’t about teaching discipline or self-control. It’s about teaching young wemyn that they are not powerful, and that their bodies do not belong entirely to them.

One of the most harmful aspect of slut shaming is that rather than encouraging all people to have agency and control over their own style, clothing choices, and bodies, it instead gives agency to others to police you and your clothing, causing unnecessary shaming and humiliation.

Readers, NO ONE has the right to tell you how to dress. Not boys in your class, not TMZ, not trolls on social media, and not men in the Montana legislature.
Love,
Talia

5 Day Challenge, part 2

Salutations, Readers!

For a long week, it sure went by awfully quick, didn’t it? It gets dark before 5 p.m. here now, which makes even the short days seem longer somehow. The black sky sparkles with icy air crystals. My writing gets more poetic. Don’t worry, it’ll clear up in the spring (just like my cough).

How did we all do with the 5 Day Challenge? I know that it took some coaxing for me every night! I made it through each time, and I definitely noticed that I appreciated Past Me’s sacrifice heartily in the morning. Others were not safe either: my co-worker (my supervisor, actually) was forced to take pictures of me while I was busy feeling awkward for imposing on her. Thanks for being so cool about it, Jessica!

On Monday, I was on time for work (barely), and I had a good day. It was very productive. Seriously. Mountains of orders were filled. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t slow down juuuust a little bit… My outfit was dramatic and striking, playing on my strong Winter coloring. Aubergine trousers (Yeah. Aubergine. I went there) under a pure white blouse with black detailing. A high bun, hanging chain necklace, and cream and black wedges polished the look. Said Jessica: “You look super profesh!”

Tuesday, I managed to get into work early! Tuesday was another good, productive day. I wore my hair half up/half down so you could see my huge earrings (but mostly because it was clean). Black, flocked trousers and gray granny boots lent texture to a simple blouse, and a red cardigan topped it all off with another dramatic burst of color.

Wednesday- early again! I’m starting to feel good about all this challenge business! Clean hair! A soft, black collared shirt, pleated Vera Wang skirt, and striped shrug over fleece leggings and combat boots! An unnecessarily sparkly necklace! I love hump day!

Thursday was a sugar crash. I was super tired and unproductive for the majority of the day. To be fair(-ish), it was a quiet day with few orders to fill. But I’m normally very good at finding new projects, or something to stock or clean, or a new skill to master. Nope. Not Thursday. EVEN THOUGH I looked very cool in my white blouse, black skirt, burgundy tights, brown oxfords, SUPER FLY new jacket that I’ll never take off, ever! and a patterned infinity scarf. Hmph.

Friday was another quiet day, so I took a half day. Between work and then errands, it was still pretty productive. I chose a simple outfit to finish the week. Black skinny pants, a gray tank, and my favorite chartreuse green cardigan, mixed with black granny boots (Why, yes I did buy them the same day as the gray ones), a slick ponytail, and the biggest feather earrings I own. I chose this outfit because I really want to emphasize to you, darling Readers, that simple things can look elegant, fun, and polished, without costing a lot of money or being difficult to care for.

I can’t wait to see your challenge pictures! Post them in the comments, or email them to talia@wildroma.com.

Lastly, I would like to announce the winners of the Wild Roma Facebook contest!

Winner #1 is Brittany Pieper! Winner #2 is Tish Tam Sing! They will receive sample sizes of Wild Roma’s full Home Remedy Shop line, as well as $5 gift certificates to WildRoma.com!

The Grand Prize Winner is Martha Gaines! She will receive the full size line of Home Remedy Shop items, as well as a $10 gift certificate to WildRoma.com!

Thank you to everyone who entered! And if you’re just hearing about it now, head over to Wild Roma’s Facebook page to like and share us with all your friends!

Love, Talia

5 Day Challenge, Part 1

Hey there, Readers!

Last week was just one of those weeks, you know? Stress at work, stress at home, a completely stupid and minor injury cramping my style. I barely had time to get dressed in the morning, and consequently went to work late nearly every morning wearing whatever-I-could-reach paired with whatever-was-clean, and accessorized with toast crumbs. NOT my favorite look this winter. If I didn’t remember to put on lipstick in the car, then I worked the whole day without it. The whole thing made me feel plain and grungy, and on days that I was plain and grungy, I was more tired, more worried about my job, and just generally felt off my game.

A game that no amount of coffee could win.

However, on the two days I managed to pick out my outfit before bed, I felt calmer and less hurried in the morning, and more like myself at work all day. And that’s how I came up with:

THE FIVE DAY CHALLENGE!!!

For each of the next five days, I’m challenging myself and all of you wonderful Readers to pick out your outfit at night before bed (preferably at a time that you are not delirious with exhaustion), including accessories, shoes, and outerwear (refer back to this blog for additional help). Go to bed at a decent hour. Wake up on time. Grab the gorgeous outfit that Yesterday You picked out and put it on without even thinking about it. Eat breakfast! Have someone snap a picture of your cute self, or selfie that biz. Throughout each day, see if you feel more confident, better prepared, and maybe even punctual (that’s my personal extra challenge. BE ON TIME)!

I’ll be collecting my own pictures and thoughts for the whole week, and I’ll share the results with y’all next week. I would LOVE it if you sent in some of your best outfits and/or comments on how your challenge week went!

And in case you aren’t friends with Wild Roma on Facebook, WildRoma.com is having a sale! 50% off clothing with coupon code “Holiday2014”! Come visit us and we’ll hook you up right!

Good luck and happy Challenge Week!

Love, Talia

 

My Third Client: Dana!

Oh, Readers! Am I glad to see you!

I’ve just about gotten to the end of the recent hectic life stuff! I can see a light at the end of what was a very stress-filled tunnel. I’m so grateful to everyone that’s helped me get here (especially my partner, who has been really cool about me not washing dishes in a month). That definitely includes all of you! I’ve also had a surge of international readers (in Canada, the Netherlands, and Italy), so thank you to everyone who has shared this blog!

Seriously, thank you!

A couple of weeks ago I was in California, and had the wonderful opportunity to help my friend Dana find a style that suits her.

Flash is blinding in a dark bar. I chickened out.

Dana was having a hard time finding the motivation to shop, and the stores that she shopped at didn’t really have her best style in mind. Since she was usually combing the racks at discount retailers, the selection always seemed inconsistent and immensely overwhelming. Dana was coming home with a lot of striped t-shirts that do absolutely nothing for her powerful legs, cute waist, and athletic arms.

 

The second problem is that Dana recently cut off her long hair, and is now rocking the hell out of a pixie cut (blue, see above). However, her clothes were starting to seem a little butch, and Dana was looking for a style that reads as feminine, but not overly girlish.

Please imagine her in all of the following pictures wearing combat boots.

Since we live and work in different states, I made a list of what I wanted to teach her, in addition to items I thought she should have in her wardrobe. I asked her to describe her body, and give me her sizes so I could do remote research. I looked at style sites, but mostly I kept my eyes peeled while in the city for wemyn who had a certain look, and when I spotted one, I kept a list of what she wore. I’m not weird!

I’m a little weird.

The look I mapped out for Dana is comfortable, but edgy and put together. She loves leggings and has tons in different patterns. Great! Now all we need is a skirt with a great pattern and a chambray shirt.

To make her legs look longer, here she is in a belted tunic.

The tunic is actually royal blue. SUPER dark picture. Still cute.

To make her torso look longer, here she is in an untucked shirt.

The bodice shaping and lacy, repeating Hamsa pattern add femininity to this top.

Grays, black, rich blues, deep reds: Incredible on a Winter like Dana.

Because she’s just very cool, I insisted that she get a moto jacket.

Sweaters!

All the sweaters!

More all the sweaters!

This lady was not super into us.

Dana:

I wish I had more time to spend with you, as a client and a friend. I think your style is starting to emerge, and I think you’re getting a nice handle on it. Here are some things I touched on, in more detail.

You have a lovely body. Don’t fight with it, you won’t win. You are powerful, you are shapely. You need bold colors and edgy accents, tribal prints in black and white, and strong jewelry. Tunics and leggings are always going to look fun on you. In addition to the benefits of comfort, there are dozens of combinations you can make from just these two simple elements, just by changing up the different patterns and colors.

People see what you want them to see. If you tell them your waistline is high, they’ll think your legs are long. If you tell them your waistline is low, they will think your torso is long. Because you have a proportional body, you get to play with your proportions. With tunics, a belt at the waist. With skirts, a blouse that hits you mid hip.

 

Because you are a Winter, you should aim for cool toned, clear colors. Bright, bold, jewel tones, stark contrast. These are powerful colors to go with your powerful style.

You are young, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t invest in yourself and your clothing. Take the time to care for each garment properly (and wash most things in cold water). Store them away from moths. Neglecting your clothes will make them fall apart faster, which means you will have to replace them more often. Which means braving the mall more frequently, and NO ONE wants that.

Shop for clothes that excite you! Make a plan (“I need some jeans,” for instance). Then go online and find out which retailers carry jeans you like. Are they in your area? Go in the store and try stuff on! Do they offer free shipping to your home? Leave the store (knowing your size), go home and get that free shipping! Make the internet (and the mall) your bitch.

If you aren’t feeling “pretty enough” in your day to day, add a five minute make-up regime. Eyeliner; mascara; lipstain/lipstick: pick two, or use them all if you like. They take no time to apply and can make a big difference. I always feel very plain without lipstain. I assure you, that rhymed completely by accident.

And finally, to complete your outfit(s), accessorize! Wait! Before you freak out, belts totally count! As do rad pendant necklaces, superfly earrings, and bitchin’ handbags (WildRoma.com carries a fine selection of all of these)! Keep your jewelry simple, strong, powerful, and cool… just like you.

Until next time, Readers.

My Second Client: Jennifer

My second client, Jennifer, has a very interesting job. She’s a process improvement consultant  who travels for work, and her newest project will have her shadowing the administrators of day care facilities for weeks at a time. The problem? All of Jennifer’s clothes are either too corporate, or too casual.

Let’s find her something fun, shall we?

I started by assessing what she needs for the upcoming project. Since the environment will be similar to an elementary school, we considered that both movement and color would have to play a vital role in this wardrobe supplementation. For movement, flats, dresses, and pants; for color, olive greens, sapphire blues, wine reds, cream, navy, and a bit of black (as opposed to the uniform of black, red, and gray more typical of her work).

Just a little bit softer now.

Jennifer is a curvy womyn who is self conscious of her large bust and the body that is adapting to a more athletic lifestyle (like Erin and myself, Jennifer plays Roller Derby). She’s an Autumn, and her strong coloring makes warm, muted colors very exciting on her. Due to stress, we broke up the consultation into three appointments.

And had way too much fun.

I started the closet purge on Saturday night by distracting her with conversation while I got rid of chuff, occasionally asking for her opinion on a piece, saying things like,  “please justify this,” or having her yell, “no!” and come rescue a dress from my unloving, alien hands.

The Unjustifiable.

When I began, her closet was packed. When I finished, hangers littered the floor, we had filled three bags, and there was ACTUAL SPACE in her closet. For all the clothes she needed, because I threw all her stuff away, according to Jennifer. We parted with plans to go shopping the following afternoon.

Hanger carnage.

Sunday afternoon, we met for lunch (and a football game) before shopping. We got into a silly mental space, and after the games (Broncos and Niners playing simultaneously. Both won!), we walked over to the mall and started with Macy’s.

We did pretty well.

I have a style of shopping I like to call “seek and destroy.” As I walk through a store, I grab everything that looks good in the right size. Everything. I go into a fitting room loaded down and watch the attendant’s face just… fall. Jennifer made it clear early on that she didn’t want anything that added bulk to her chest, and nothing too frumpy, so we had lots to argue about. But it was seeing me with my arms full of clothes that she was expected to try on that made her the most vocal about how little she wanted to do any of this. Readers, when faced with a person (whether or not they’re a great friend whom you love very much) who questions not only every garment, but also the merits of shopping, trying clothing on, or even the concept of pants, it is very easy to get frustrated, or feel as though your own merits are being called into question. My advice? Simply relax. Smile. Tell your friend (and/or client) in no uncertain terms that they ARE going to try on the majority of the clothes you pulled. And for the love of all that is fashionable, use bribery. In this case, the bribe was a gorgeous wrap dress Jennifer loved from the second she laid her eyes on it.

This isn’t it. But this looks good, too.

When we got into the fitting room (I was so disappointed. The attendant didn’t even flinch at the sheer quantity of clothing in my arms), there was more lighthearted arguing over how much she really needed to try anything on. I wouldn’t let her try on the dress. Suddenly, Jennifer was all business. She tore through that stack of clothes, and we made some serious progress defining her style, while steering wide of boxy cuts, stiff fabrics, and jeggings. She nearly found a decent pair of pants at Macy’s, but they fit a little weird in the crotch, so they ended up in the “NO” pile.

Only pants that fit, thank you very much.

In the “seek and destroy” school of shopping, after the blitz try-on, the next step is to ruthlessly pare down the pile. If you don’t LOVE IT, DO NOT BUY IT. By the end of this step, we had two dresses and a sweater. A killer sweater. Choices made, we left Macy’s in good spirits, only to discover that malls close earlier on Sundays. Oops! At least the football games had been worth watching.

We have spirit! Yes, we do!

With time for only one more store, and needing a handful of pretty, comfortable, washable blouses, I took Jennifer to Marshalls. She was pretty beat after a long hour at Macy’s, and although she was resigned to my shopping style, she was fairly overwhelmed. I sent her to look at shoes hoping that would allow her to relax while I went hog-wild in the knit tops.

You’re welcome, World.

We took 27 items into the fitting room, and emerged victorious with but five, including one pair of pants and one blazer (a triumph, as she did not expect to like any pants or blazers whatsoever).

It’s a GREAT blazer.

The following evening, we got together her her house for the wardrobe styling. We blasted fun music and danced around, and I made cool outfits (some for work, some for play). We talked the whole time (when we weren’t singing loudly), and Jennifer has come away from the experience feeling better about her clothing options for her upcoming trip.

Fun-time outfit.

Work time outfit.

Little bit of both.

Jennifer:

I never want you to feel matronly. If you feel in danger of frumpiness, that is the perfect time to break out your coolest jewelry, or trade a plain cardigan for something more modern or with a little more edge. Balance is your friend, but lean in the direction that makes you the most comfortable – being one cool m**********r.

Please don’t feel like you need to hide your girls! Repeat after me: “The jacket/sweater/shrug goes to the nipple, but no farther!” If you have to adjust throughout the day, well, yeah. Sometimes you just gotta do that. But when you cross your sweater/jacket/shrug over your chest, your body language reads as ‘defensive,’ just like if you had your arms crossed over your chest.

Play with your clothes. Each item does not only belong to one outfit. Mix and match. Get crazy. Make mistakes. It’s all part of the learning process.

Tell yourself every morning, “I look damn good.” Because you do. And you deserve to hear it from yourself.

As a final parting gift, dear Readers, here is the stunning Jennifer in her beloved dress. She earned it. Boy howdy, did she ever.

Love,
Talia

The Language of Fashion

Hello, Readers! It’s been a busy week. I hope you’re all reading this in good health and high spirits.

The following post was inspired by a conversation with my partner. I was basically just shouting all the things that I know about clothing at him, when I realized it would make a great blog, because a lot of people don’t think of their clothes as anything other than a lazy cover for their illegal nudity. They certainly don’t think of fashion as a language that some people have mastered.

Fashion Level: Master. (Chiara Ferragni)

Author’s note: Anytime I give guidelines, I want you to know that they’re never meant as hard and fast rules. You can bend or break any of them, because you have free will. Hell, even I ignore good fashion advice from time to time. We’re only human. You can wear anything you like, but it’s important to me that you know 1. your clothes are talking to others and 2. what they are saying about you.

What you wear says things about you. It doesn’t matter if you like that, or if it’s fair. It’s just something we all do. We use clothing as a way to learn things about others. Much of the time, people aren’t even aware they’re gleaning personal information. Have you ever run out the door without brushing your hair and had a co-worker ask if you’re having a rough morning? Or consciously decide not to wear make-up and been asked if you were ill? Have you ever looked at a man or womyn and thought, “Yup. They’re gay”?

I’m sure I’m imagining things.

We base something as important as sexuality on the way people dress without even speaking to them. Your co-workers and friends are not detectives. It’s as simple as this: all people think every decision other people make about their appearance is intentional. If a person is wearing weird, off-trend clothing, it’s not that they don’t follow trends or have no idea how to put together an outfit. They must have CHOSEN to look weird, therefore they are weird. And the only time you would CHOOSE not to wear make-up is when you’re sick, amirite? [not me- I wear way more to disguise it]

Is it working?

Now you know you’re sending out information all the time with your clothing choices, you need to ensure you are only sending the messages you want, and that means understanding the language of fashion.

Here are some messages I see proudly displayed to the world frequently:
– When you wear clothes that don’t fit your body (too loose, too tight, bunching in areas, or just weird), it says you don’t really understand your body, you don’t have patience to search for clothes that fit properly, or you don’t think you are worth investing in. See also: wrong bra size.

Know thyself.

Bonus picture: Breasts are not belts, Ethel.

– When you wear styles that don’t fit your personality (conservative when you’re not, too trendy when you’re more conservative, too old for you, too young for you, etc), you look uncomfortable.

Or possibly TOO comfortable.

– Wearing frumpy, lumpy, shapeless, or old lady clothes when you’re a young womyn says you have given up, or that you don’t want anyone to look at you. See also: food stains.

Please, never wear Crocs where people can see you. Please.

– When you wear pajamas or slippers outside, you are saying you couldn’t be bothered to put on outside clothing like everyone else. It smacks of laziness, and not caring what others think.

Do not come to class like this. Stay home.

– When you wear socks with sandals, you are saying you have NO IDEA how goofy you look.

Don’t be that guy.

Do you do any of those? Did you know people were assuming those things about you? Is that the message you were hoping to send?

I was on the Speech and Debate team in college. When we went to tournaments, we dressed up like crazy. Imagine what people would wear to a heavily publicized court case, or funeral for a head of state. We looked GOOD. Formal, dark suits, black pencil skirts, pearls on kids in their twenties, for crying out loud. Because if you didn’t dress up at that level, you were immediately noticeable, and you looked lousy compared to other competitors. Now, I’m not one to trumpet conformity, but in certain situations, not being dressed similarly to everyone else can be a distraction. You have to determine when it is appropriate to the situation to be dressed a certain way. A good rule is: if you are not on the same level as everyone around you, and it is immediately apparent to everyone that you aren’t, you should notice what others are doing and adapt it to your own style. Imagine a sea of suits, and one dude in a plaid shirt tucked into khakis. He did not get the memo.

Winners wear suits.

I hear a lot of fashion ‘rules,’ and I don’t want you to think that I’m crazy judgemental, or that being trendy is the most important thing you can be. To me, fashion advice is different than rules. You can always ignore advice, and hell, break some rules while you’re at it. You aren’t alone, and the great thing about fashion is that the rule breakers of one generation become the trend setters of the next.

Seriously. Who knows?

The most important thing you need to have, always, is self respect. If you find yourself constantly in situations that make you uncomfortable, or people are constantly treating you disrespectfully, it’s possible you need to evaluate your fashion choices, but it’s just as likely you need to evaluate the people around you and whether or not you are giving the message that it is okay to treat you poorly. Because it is NEVER okay for anyone to treat you poorly. Not even yourself.

Love,
Talia